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An NPN reader asks our natural parenting mentors: My son turned five years old last week. Two months ago I found him and a friend in his bedroom with all their clothes off. My son was wiping his friend’s bum with toilet paper and there was poo on it. I asked them as calmly as I could why they were doing that, to which they answered it was called the baby game.
I told them about respecting each other’s bodies and left it at that. Then last week my son was playing outside in our yard with his cousin, who is also five. I stood by the window and heard my son say, “if you poo in your pants, I will wipe your bum. You can use one of my undies.” She obviously did not want to. He carried on saying the same thing and then said, “I will be your friend if you do it.” She then said matter-of-factly, just to get him off her case, “okay, but I don’t feel like pooing now.” Five seconds later, he said, “remember you promised me you will poo in your pants. Do you want to poo in your pants yet?” I noticed that while he kept saying it, he kept touching his winky which was now showing an erection! I interrupted them and distracted them with some TV-time, but I felt really confused!
Then last week another friend from school also came to play, and when I went to check up on them the exact same conversation was playing itself out. My son was continuously asking the same question, and his friend was obviously not interested in this “game.” My son seems so obsessed with this. I braced myself and peeped around the door and true to my fear, my son was pulling on his own winky again, and again I saw an erection! Could it be that it is just a game for him and the thought of “poo and pee” makes him feel like he wants to wee, which results in an erection, or should I worry? How am I supposed to react? I am embarrassed to invite friends over. Here’s what our natural parenting mentors had to say: Lesley Laub Huizenga, Ph.D.
(Child Psychologist): Many parents have asked themselves, “is my child’s sexual play normal, and how do I handle it?”, so you are not alone. It is typical for a 5 year old such as your son’s fascination and play around defecating, and it is also normal for children his age to infrequently.
It is also very common for young boys from infancy on up to have erections outside of sexual stimulation. It is wonderful that you remained calm when addressing your son and his friends and did not make a huge deal out of the situation. By doing so, you are avoiding causing any shame and keeping communication open so he will in the future. Your talk with him about respecting other people’s bodies was fitting. You may need to sit down with him and have a more detailed talk about.
Depending on your preferences and beliefs, explain to him that sexual exploration of his own body is appropriate in private, but that. If you find him engaging in sexual play with others again, you can then remind him about respecting each other’s privacy and redirect their activities just as you did before. Lodochnie motori b u na avito ru.
That said, there are a few issues that do raise possible concerns in your situation. While sexual play is normal, there are some signs in sexual play that may indicate. Preoccupation with sexual play, like your son is showing with his repeated and ritualized bottom-wiping in his “baby game” is a possible.
Also, the fact that he appears to be possibly coercing other children into his sexual play is another red flag. A simple inquiry on your part to determine where the ideas or examples for this “baby game” came from might help you to know what further steps you need to take. Keep the questions simple, such as: • “What were you doing?” • “How did you get that idea?” • “How did you learn about this?” • “How do you feel about doing it?” If your inquiry does not leave you feeling confident that your child’s sexual play is of innocent origins and you worry about possible sexual abuse, please seek profession help.
Many national organizations like and have helplines and can refer you to the appropriate place in your community. Another possibility is the community mental health center in your city or county.: Thank you for asking and sharing this question.
I feel that the more we talk about and work through difficult situations like these, the more we allow ourselves and our children a full, honest experience of life. I will get straight to the points in question. Please pardon my directness, it is softened by love and acceptance, so if you can feel that first it may be easier to read from this point forward. What causes a child to want to play a game of baby where he asks a child to “poo” in his pants and then proceeds to wipe the child’s bottom? There are several factors that may influence a child to play such a game. Children are naturally curious and the private parts of the body are generally off limits or hold special interest because of the culture’s views about them.
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